A few days ago I decided to make myself some toast and
tea as a mid-morning snack. I put some
water into the electric kettle and hit the on button to heat it to a boil. The bread was one of those artisanal loaves
where the ends are so small they would get lost in a traditional toaster. So I popped them into the toaster oven and
went into the study to glance at the newspaper while I waited. I came back in a few minutes and poured the
hot water into my mug and buttered my toast.
When my tea had brewed, I added some sugar and opened the refrigerator
door to get some milk. Damn! The refrigerator light had burned out. I realized the fridge was at least 3 years
old, and I had never changed its light bulb.
I supposed that I was fortunate to have a bulb last that long.
I figured this was something I could fix in a jiffy. So
leaving my toast and tea on the kitchen table, I went down to the basement to look
for an appliance bulb. I opened the
closet where I keep various light bulbs and rooted around until I determined
that I didn’t have the right type of bulb.
So I trudged upstairs to the kitchen and took a bite of toast and sip of
tea. It seemed that while I was
downstairs looking for a light bulb, my tea had gotten lukewarm. I took another sip and finished one of the
rounds of toast. Then I opened the
refrigerator door to take a look at the bulb.
Instead of a bulb, I saw a translucent plastic shield that ran from the
back to the front of the fridge and covered the light bulb. I realized I would have to remove the shield
to replace the bulb. I rearranged the
food on the shelf below to give me some room to work. I examined the shield and gave it a tug. It moved, but showed no signs of coming
loose. I looked at it closer, but could
not determine how to get it off. I
decided that using brute force would be a bad idea. I could end up having to buy a new shield as
well as a light bulb.
Since this is a relatively new refrigerator, I had hope
that I might still have the owner’s manual.
I took another gulp of my tea which was getting cold and a bite of toast
and went to the desk drawer where I thought the manual might be located. I leafed through manuals for items that we
had long since discarded. But my search for
the refrigerator manual was rewarded. I opened
it to the section on replacing the light bulb.
It instructed me to squeeze the sides of the shield and pull
downward. I was a little skeptical, but
gave it a try and sure enough, it came off revealing the light bulb.
I was pleased to
see that the bulb looked pretty normal. I
figured I should take it to the hardware store to be sure I got the correct
replacement. So I gave it a twist. The bulb refused to budge. Was I twisting it the right way? I gave it a twist in the other
direction. No luck that way either. Now I became concerned that I would end up
breaking the bulb in my efforts to unscrew it.
The last thing I wanted was a cut hand and blood and glass shards to
clean up. I went to get a pair of
leather gloves. I tried again, first one
way and then the other. No luck. The bulb was horizontal with its base toward
the refrigerator door. I walked into the
living room and unscrewed the light bulb from one of the lamps. O.K.
You turn these things counterclockwise to unscrew them. I mentally turned the lamp on its side with
the light bulb facing away from me to determine which direction was counterclockwise
when the bulb was facing away from me.
Jokes started popping into my head:
“How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?” I went back to the kitchen and downed the
dregs of my now cold tea and limp toast.
I opened the door and grasped the bulb with my gloved hand. I gave it a gentle but firm twist in the direction
I determined to be correct. I felt it
give a little. I tried again with a
little more pressure and it began to unscrew.
“Success!” I shouted as I unscrewed the bulb and pulled
it out of the refrigerator.
I realized that to be efficient, I should run a number of
other errands besides going to the hardware store for a new bulb. So I gathered a few things together, put the
bulb in a bag to protect it and got ready to leave the house. It occurred to me that with the distraction
of the burned out light bulb, I never did get a chance to enjoy a nice hot cup
of tea. So what would be the harm of
making myself another cup? I could put
it in a travel mug and take it with me. So
I put more water in the kettle and flipped the button to start the kettle. I noticed the light on the kettle did not come
on. A light bulb clicked on – the one in
my mind. I realized that running the tea
kettle and toaster oven at the same time had tripped a breaker, and the
refrigerator was probably on that same breaker. I went downstairs, opened the breaker box and
saw that one of the breakers had switched off.
I turned it on and walked back upstairs.
I was greeted by the sound of the refrigerator’s
motor. I screwed the light bulb back in
and it lit up. All told, I had probably
wasted a half hour solving a problem that didn’t exist. That might qualify me to be a politician, but
certainly not an efficiency expert. I
made a note to pass this experience on to my son, Michael, who gives brief
lessons on efficiency in his MichaelMinutes on Facebook. I figured this could be a lesson in what not to do.
I recalled that old adage, “When you assume, you make an
ASS out of U and ME.” I had assumed that
when the light didn’t turn on, it meant the bulb was burned out. Once I had made that incorrect assumption, I
ignored all the other clues – the tea that was never piping hot, the toast that
wasn’t quite toasted, the fact that the refrigerator never turned on while I
was trying to get the light bulb out. I’d
like to think I learned from this experience and that the next time I’m
confronted with a problem, I will test my assumptions and consider all the
possibilities – including the possibility that pigs have learned to fly. 