Tuesday, May 10, 2016

A Chip Off the Old Block

A feeling of overwhelming sadness engulfed Frank. 

“All the great stories already have been written,” he lamented to no one in particular.  He closed the book he had been reading and stood up.  “And the best ones have been re-written over and over with an infinite number of variations.  Romeo and Juliet are transformed into Maria and Tony.  Boy meets girl, etcetera, etcetera,” Frank continued with a heavy sigh.

He headed back to the main road, walking past the monuments and tombstones.  The cemetery was one of Frank’s favorite places to walk and think.

“Why must the protagonist always start out young and full of promise?” he mused.  Even if they spring forth old and mean, they soon flashback to young and promising like Ebenezer Scrooge in Dicken’s A Christmas Carol.  And old and crotchety is somehow always redeemed by the final page.”

                                                            *          *          *
He stared at the light forcing its way into his bedroom around the room darkening shades.

“I may as well get up,” he grumbled.  “Another goddam sleepless night in an endless series of sleepless nights.  What did I ever do to deserve this?”

He picked up the tumbler containing a quarter inch of tea-stained liquid from his nightstand.   He sniffed the residue of melted ice.  Even a glassful of whiskey had not been enough to deliver an hour or two of blissful unconsciousness.  He painfully negotiated the stairs down to the kitchen and placed the glass onto the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. 

                                                            *          *          *
“And he made everyone miserable with his presence, and then he died, leaving a mountain of bills for his unfortunate heirs.  Now why doesn’t anyone write a story like that?” Frank wondered aloud as he turned onto the main road.  It had been days since he’d written anything.

Now let’s see . . ., how about a story about a writer struggling to find a story?  Now that’s never been done before.  A wry smile spread across Frank’s face.  He began to walk a little faster as his bladder signaled the two-minute warning.  I shouldn’t have had that cup of tea before going for a walk.  He struggled to think of something else, knowing he still had a good ten minutes of walking before there could be any relief.

Who wrote the First Story? Frank pondered.  What would it have been about?  Perhaps it involved The Hunt.  He thought of the ancient paintings in those caves in southern France.  Every picture tells a story, don’t it?  The Rod Stewart song danced around in Frank’s head.  He felt his bladder relax; the urgency lessened.

Are words even necessary?  In the Beginning was the Word.  And what is the Word?  Everybody knows the Bird is the Word!  

“Noooo!” Frank shouted out loud.  He grabbed his head, trying to prevent the earworm from nesting in his brain. 

“Think Biblical,” Frank said to himself.  And the Word was good.  It was very good, and it was fruitful and multiplied.  Words became phrases, phrases became sentences, sentences became paragraphs, and paragraphs became chapters, short stories, novelettes, novellas and novels, each with a story to tell.  The stories could be fiction or non-fiction.  The stories might be written in prose or poetry, spoken in plays or sung in musicals, operettas or operas, containing words employed by the writer to describe some aspect of the human experience.


His thoughts stopped abruptly when Frank walked up the steps to his front porch, opened the storm door and inserted the key.  A quick twist and push and Frank was inside.  The urgency returned and he ran up the stairs to the bathroom.

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